Previously on The Biggest Loser… so many foods, so many eatings, so many horrors.

We also met our new host who set the very first challenge of the season. First to the new house will get immunity for the first elimination, a huge prize.

Tonight the challenge continues and once they arrive at Camp the trainers will finally weigh in after their week of indulgences. How much weight will they have put on and who will have put on the most?

Then they’re going to do another plane pull, cool! Love those ridiculous challenges. It’s amazing what humans can do!

But as the episode picks up we see the Hailwoods getting on their ferry, though it’s still unclear whether they’ve chosen wisely.

The Auvales are in second place and have chosen to go by car, but the car is across the Harbour Bridge. So they’re still plodding along, climbing stairs on the way. Looks like they’re having a tough time of it, Rina’s nearly falling over. Wonder if they’ll try doing it again later on in the show, see how much progress they’ve made? Could be fun!

Fun for us, that is.

The Jofres are still a long way behind, but they’re third to the phonebooth and pick the train tickets. A girl on the train very kindly offers the use of her phone so they can organise a taxi from the station when they arrive, meaning they may have been smart to save some of their money. Tony sweats all over the phone and has to wipe it off before returning it. Eww!

Meanwhile the Pestell taxi has finally arrived. They’re the NSW locals so they should have had an advantage but it really hasn’t worked out that well. They’ve spent all of their travel money on the taxi so if they need to pay for anything else they’re kinda stuffed.

Hailwoods get off their ferry and they have to run for a taxi. But they have to get to Terrey Hills with their $80 and they need two taxis because they’re too big to all fit in one. They manage to get two of the girls into a taxi but Cliff and his girlfriend are having to try a whole bunch of taxis until they finally find one who’ll take them. All four need to be at the house to win the prize so it does them no good to get two there first.

Jofres are running around their train station a lot trying to find a taxi. Fortunately they get lucky out on the street and they’re 14km away, the driver informs them.

The Auvales have finally made it across the bridge and found their car, which should be smooth sailing for them now they’ve made it.

Pestells are last to arrive at the phonebooth and pick up their bus tickets. Each of them must be the size of a seat on the bus so let’s hope it’s not too crowded. They have to walk quite a way just to get the bus stop, which isn’t pleasing the girls very much. Only going to get harder from here!

The Hailwoods second taxi has caught up to their first taxi at a set of traffic lights, much to everyone’s relief. They’re still hoping to be first to get there but we will see.

Jofres are sticking together as a family, Tony says, they don’t want to go home in the first week. Does anyone?

Due to editing it’s hard to tell who’s actually arriving first but it seems to be between the Hailwoods and Jofres until… Hailwoods come rumbling around the corner to see Fiona standing poolside. Fiona tells them they’re the first family to arrive so they now have immunity for the first weigh in. They’re all very excited and still full of beans. Could’ve run a bit harder earlier then!

Jofres are next to arrive and they realise they’re not getting immunity. The Auvales arrive some time thereafter and are gutted to see two other teams already there.

Meanwhile, on the bus, the Pestells are still wondering if they might be in first place. Moses hopes they’re doing well but suggests Snapchatting them to see how they’re going. Who’s got a phone? Nobody, because they’re not allowed… except Fiona could! Did mobile phones even exist when she was on the show? Hah!

The Pestells finally arrive some time later. The sun’s a bit lower in the sky but welcome to their new house for the next few months. It’s where they’ll eat, sleep, live and exercise a lot. Fiona tells them all to go inside and get comfortable, settle in, have a good sleep, because tomorrow anything could happen!

Rina’s very impressed by the luxurious surroundings. She can’t wait to enjoy it all. Hah!

Six years ago Tony used to be a personal trainer. What the hell happened, dude? He wants the old fire back, be willing to fight for things.

The Hailwoods are very impressed by their whites and silvers bedroom with their name up on the wall and everything. Cliff’s probably less impressed since he’s not really a Hailwood!

Next day, all the teams walk into the weigh in room with their trainers. Fiona welcomes them to the new weigh in room, which looks quite a lot like the old weigh in room. Spooky.

Fiona then announces it’s time to weigh in, much to the horror of the families. But then Fiona says it’s not them weighing in, it’s their trainers. They’re all quite amused. Might not be so amused when the trainers start getting some payback.

The trainers ate all the same junk their families ate for a week. Michelle doesn’t want to get on the scales because she knows she’ll have put on weight.

First on the scales is Shannan! He prides himself on living a fit and healthy lifestyle. He’s been eating what the Pestells ate and did no exercise. Ali knows they put him through hell, but how much weight could he have put on? You’re going to be horrified, lady.

Shannan Previous: 87.3kg
Shannan Current: 92.6kg
GAIN: 5.3kg

In a week! It’s just awful. Shannan has a grin on his face, as usual, but you can see he’s not thrilled. But payback’s going to be a bitch!

Next up, Tiffiny. She knows she’ll’ve packed it on as well, she knows she’s not at her best. Lost a lot of tone in her stomach, she says. And while she does still look fantastic, he tummy is definitely not as tight and toned as normal.

Tiffiny Previous: 53kg
Tiffiny Current: 57.5kg
GAIN: 4.5kg

Wow, nearly as much as Shannan despite only being a slip of a girl. Sylvia is in tears, Tiff notices. Sylvia says Tiff is awesome and she didn’t deserve that to happen to her. Sylvia’s seen what the food did to Tiff in one week so what’s it been doing to her for 20 years? Tiff tells us nobody is immune to the bad stuff.

Commando Steve up next. He’s been feeling terrible physically, but also emotionally and mentally. He says it’s “not cool” having to strip down to his shorts in that kind of shape.

Commando Steve Previous: 100.3kg
Commando Steve Current: 107.4kg
GAIN: 7.1kg

Yikes. Steve says they’re standing there because they couldn’t control themselves. He won’t be a bully, just a taskmaster. He’s not going to derive enjoyment from doing it, it’s not going to be payback. Shannan pipes up and says he enjoys it a little bit, it’s part of what makes him happy. Much to the laughs of the contestants.

Last but not least, Michelle! She knows she’s put weight on, she’s had a horrific week with her family and she thinks that because she’s been saved to last it’s because she’s gained the most weight. But she’s so tiny?

Michelle Previous: 60.2kg
Michelle Current: 67.8kg
GAIN: 7.6kg

Holy crap. Where is she even hiding it? Mish is PISSED. Michelle says that not only does she have to get the weight off her family she has to get it off herself, now. And she’s not trying to berate them, their choices in life lead them to there but that’s in the past. What matters is what they do from there. They have the freedom to choose and it starts now.

Fiona thanks Mish for putting her body through it and Mish says it’s fine, she’ll let Fiona know how the weightloss goes.

Time for the training to begin. Tiff says the contestants have met Nice Tiff, but Trainer Tiff ain’t that nice!

Tiff is cracking straight into it, grabbing some boxing gloves and handing them out so they can bash a punching bag on the ground. First sessions are always tough, she tells us, it’ll always be a shock to the system but she needs to work out what they’re capable of now and start showing them what training is like.

Cliff’s puffing and panting after whipping a rope around for a bit, looking a bit woozy, might be a bit barfy. Tiff says that’s perfectly okay in her dojo, it’s a good thing!

Cliff manages to get back up after having a bit of a throw up and grabbing a drink and then manages to get back to training without any drama, so that’s a good sign.

Sylvia’s one of those “I Can’t” people, Tiff has discovered already. She needs to get past that and believe in herself. Swap it to I Can, etc.

Sylvia feels like a failure in her outside life, feels like she might be a disappointment to her kids.

Tiff says Sylvia thinks she can’t but she’s just 10 kettlebell swings away from finishing her very first workout session. Most of the others are doing their swings a bit more energetically than she is, but she does manage to get through them and then bursts into tears. Tiffiny pulls her in for a big hug afterwards, telling her she’s really proud of her. And she’s achieved something! Big group hug!

Pestells turn for their first training session with Shannan. Shannan says you’d think they’re a tight family unit but he’s about to learn they’re far from that!

Jodie’s not doing so well with the rope slamming, really not putting a lot of effort into it. She must have more muscles than that, she’s been shovelling food in her gob for years!

Two minutes into the session and they’re already tearing strips off each other. Ali yells at Jodie about her arms working, Jodie asks when Ali did a workout, Ali says she did one while Jodie wasn’t doing the work. The volcano is erupting, Shannan says.

Everyone’s digging into Jodie. Jodie and Ali are twins and Shannan’s realising it’s a love-hate relationship. Lots of questions about why they’re here. Ali’s getting the angry tears on, saying she’s doing everything she has to but Jodie’s holding them up.

Jodie says Ali’s the loud one and she’s the quiet one, but she feels like Ali does support her.

We get another Jodie in underpants shot, where she reveals that most days she won’t even get dressed and will stay in her pyjamas because it’s too much effort.

Shannan finally steps in and asks Jodie if she thinks 160kg is big for him, he need to take it easy? Because it’s not big for him, this is the training he sets for them, get it done. Jodie says she’s big compared to the others but Shannan doesn’t care. She needs to experience discomfort and distress to build her character. Say she can instead of saying she can’t.

Shannan says the blame game has to stop, more family yelling at each other. Shannan’s beginning to wonder if he’s picked the wrong family if they can’t even make it halfway through their first session.

Michelle’s really pleased by her big strapping bunch of lads, but they’ve not had much chance to use it in the last few years. The nephews live at home, eating like children with no accountability or responsibility. It’s depressing. But they’re at Camp Biggest Loser now and she’s not their Mum, no more coddling.

Tony and Daniel were intent on proving how strong they are and they manage to smash a medicine ball, all the stuffing falling out and all over the floor. Michelle is very pleased, says it’s the best first training session she’s ever seen.

Commando Steve’s turn, welcoming his team to his world. He says the other teams are putting pussy little boxing mitts on their hands, running on treadmills and crossfit machines. Crawl, locomote those bodies through the sand! They’re burrowing away but Johnee is definitely the slowest as he’s the biggest. He’s doing this so he can give his wife what she wants – children. They’ve failed five times at IVF, which is usually what fat fucks have to resort to because their own fertility is far too low.

Johnee’s struggling to hold a plank, because he can’t hold up his body weight yet he says, but he’s going to get there, he promises Steve. They then move on to dragging a tire across the sandpit, with Johnee pulling the rope at the front and Moses pushing along behind. They’re definitely working together a lot better than the Pestells!

After an ad break we’re back with Shannan and his Pestells. Jodie’s flouncing around through the workout.

Shannan needs to find a way to get them to work together or their time at Camp will be very short. Shannan tries to get them working together. He gets Ali to put her hand on Jodie’s shoulder and gently push them to run faster. They manage to do a couple of laps… but Terry’s still coddling his kids, which Shannan says is how they got to this stage. Terry loves his family, he’d do anything for them.

Shannan would never walk out on one of his contestants, he says, but they need some time together to work on their issues. They come together and Jodie is asked if she has a problem with any of them, does she feel like they’re not supporting her? Jodie says Ali was told to push her along, not because she wanted to be supportive. Ali helpfully retorts that she would have pushed her over if it was up to her. Oh dear…

Ali feels like Jodie wasn’t supporting her in return. Terry asks what’s on Ali’s arm and it’s a tattoo of her sister’s name or something. It’s hard to tell because it’s utterly hideous. Ali says she’s still allowed to have an opinion, people yell at each other when they’re frustrated with each other. Ali is told to take her frustration out on the exercise but Ali says she did do that as well. They’re a family, they’ve got to do this together. There’s a halfhearted hands in the middle and “Blue for life”. They’ve got a really long way to go…

Next day, challenge time! Princess Fiona is in an aircraft hangar. They’re going to be dragging two Neptune bomber airplanes. 130 metres down the runway. And they weigh 30 tonnes! How do they even fly if they weigh that much? Amazing.

There’s a big prize for whichever family wins the final race – a 5kg weight penalty to put onto another family. The Hailwoods can’t be a target of this since they have immunity, but if they win they can still put it on another team.

Fiona’s not enough support for such a challenge, so all the trainers are also there for support.

The decision on who’ll face who in the semifinals will be decided by what’s under the klosh. It’s an enormous hamburger and they’ve already started their healthy diets, so that seems a dream. The team that gets closest to the calorie count will get to choose the order of the contests. They have 30 seconds to work out their answer.

Hailwoods guess 670 calories, which I suspect will be way too few. Auvales go for 2320 calories, probably too many. Pestells go 1150 calories and Jofres guess 1153 calories. They say the extra 3 calories is for the lettuce!

The burger actually contains 1048 calories, leading to the Pestells being the winners. So they get to choose who they’re going to lose to. Weirdly, they pick the Auvales to face off against. Blue are struggling to work together and the Auvales have the heaviest contestant so I don’t know that this was a wise choice.

Shannan’s clearly worried about his team working together, but he heads out and gives them some advice on getting the plane moving. The Auvales already seem to know what they’re doing… but when Fiona starts the race both teams struggle to get the plane rolling.

After an ad break they’re still straining away. I think the Auvale plane may have moved a couple of centimetres but they can’t keep the momentum going. Then the Pestells manage to get the plane rolling along, very slowly, but steady progress is better than no progress. Auvales are trying all kinds of pulling techniques and eventually they manage to get it rolling along. They get a big boost of confidence once it’s moving.

At the halfway point the Pestells are well in front, but the ever-present theat of bickering is looming over them. They get really near the end but they get stuck and the plane stops just 5 metres from the finish and they’re shouting at each other once again. Work together!

The Auvales see their chance and try to pull harder…

Next week, the challenge continues! Will they both finish their first race, or will they just get stuck there forever? Are they still there, even now, pulling away?

No! Because the first competitive weigh in is coming, along with the biggest “single week” loss in the history of the show. And two families will face elimination as a result.

Dr Swan will be back, telling them their “Bio Age” and also piling weight on Tiffiny to show how much extra weight one of the contestants is carrying, I guess? Not sure.

And, Mr Voiceover Man teases, will be the earliest ever appearance of the PIGS. IN. MUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUD!

I’m excited. The muddy challenges are always a lot of fun to watch.