Archive for August, 2015

The Biggest Loser Australia returns on Sunday the 13th of September at 7.30pm and will apparently only air Sunday, Monday and Tuesday each week.

Until they change it to Monday to Wednesday. And then two days in a week because something else preempts it. And then miss a week because WHO KNOWS.

So, are we excited?

The latest team to be revealed is Commando Steve’s Black Team, the Auvales. They seem to live quite the healthy lifestyle, as you can see from their ad.

Whole pigs, mountains of fried chicken, pasta dishes and chips. Mr Michelle Bridges says there’s not a vegetable in sight, apparently unaware that chips are made of potato, the only good vegetable ever created.

One of the menfolk of the family is apparently downing up to 6 litres a day of soft drink, which Steve points out is 3 times what most people struggle to do in water per day. His stomach must be huge as even without any food that is a lot to process. And how many times a day must he need a pee?

Previously, or simultaneously, or something, we also got to meet the Pestells. Shannan’s Team Blue this year looks to be his biggest challenge yet, both in terms of body mass and infighting. There’s three women so I presume at least one of them is a Mum and possibly mother of one of the other two who also has a child and…

Yes. There’s probably Mums. And a Dad who is also fat. And two of the women are going to be very cross with each other. Roll 212!

Hopefully Shannan can get them sorted out before he loses most of them this year!

Don’t watch a lot of “real” TV? Me either! Fortunately the internet is here to save us.

Two teams have now been introduced to us via minute-long ads.

First up is the new Red Team, the Jofres. And it’s pronounced like that boy king in Game of Thrones, which I’m sure they never get shit about. Michelle will return as the Red trainer and the eating habits of her boys will bring her to tears early. Watch the Jofres ad here.

The other team is being trained by returning trainer Tiffiny Hall. The Hailwoods will be Team White and one of them has a DARK SECRET they are going to beat together. One assumes the secret is not “she’s heaps fat”, but we’ll see. Watch the Hailwoods ad here.

No sign of the Blue or Black teams yet but I’ll make a prediction – there’ll be a Mum in Shannan’s team. Because he loves his Mums!

Also returning this season is the horror show where the trainers spend a normal week with their family before the training commences. Including massive binges on greasy fast food, cake, ice cream and an actual newborn baby. No, really, watch Mish eat a baby in this ad.

Pretty excited to see all these goobers again. Stay tuned for airdates and other updates!