8×30 – I want to ride my bicycle, I want to ride my bike.

Previously on The Biggest Loser the contestants flew to New Zealand and boy are their arms tired, ho ho ho.

Face your fears week started, alongside the traditional long race to decide the first people into finale.

Tonight the second leg of the race starts and includes both cycling and two kinds of rafting. TWO! And it looks like Janet, Kirsten or both may end up drowning in the middle of a lake after they snap in the most spectacular fashion thus far.

But it’s time to start the second leg of the race. Everyone enjoying their Queenstown adventure so far? Richard says it’s a ripsnorter and Robyn’s been facing some fears she didn’t even expect. Like the fear of Katie dragging her down. But they’ve ended the day on the high note with the swing so hopefully today’s adventure goes more smoothly.

First part of today’s race is a “leisurely” 5km run down to Lake… Moke? Moak? Anyway. They have to build a sturdy raft to paddle over to the other side of the lake. Amber asks if it’s in water and Hayley says yes, in water.

First team across will win… something! While the last team will have an interesting night… of some kind.

Gerald and Todd get to start today’s leg first. Richard and Amber have a 1 minute handicap, Robyn and Katie have a 2 minute handicap. Janet and Kirsten have a 4 minute handicap from coming last yesterday and then an additional 1 minute penalty because Kirsten didn’t take part in the Nevis Swing. Such piddly penalties! But I guess it’s only a 5k run and a spot of raft building.

Tether together and get ready to start.

Gerald recalls all the fighting in the teams yesterday, which worked in their favour and hopefully will happen again today.

Richard and Amber are aiming to not fall behind Gerald and Todd’s 1 minute lead. And today they’re playing it more sensibly, having Amber call the shots on the run because Richard can run faster as he’s much taller. And fitter, though they don’t say that!

Robyn says that if they were able to run at her pace they’d probably chase the other’s down. So already she’s bashing on Katie, which is great to see, isn’t it? They’re still having some ups and downs and yesterday was rock bottom. Katie tells us that communication will be key today and maybe Robyn will have to think before she opens her mouth.

Todd’s Gerald’s draughthorse, he says. Pulling him along the whole way. But Todd’s okay with that, he’s happy to have his Dad along for support to flow both ways.

Five minutes after Robyn and Katie start, Janet and Kirsten finally get to begin. They’re talking a lot about working together, not worrying so long as they can see the others ahead of them.

Katie’s struggling with the 5k run, though she feels like she’s doing better than she did with yesterday’s run. But there’s still a lot of requests for Robyn to slow down or hold back a bit. Robyn’s started shouting during the running and Katie’s puffing and panting and trying to ask her to slow down a bit. Robyn finally cracks it and stops running while Katie keeps asking her not to pull on the rope. Lots of nonsensical arguing today between those two.

And Richard’s still trotting along with Amber, who managed to run about four and a half kilometres at a steady pace, so Richard’s pretty happy with her. And since they’re not so far behind green team at the raft building station, they’ve obviously done okay.

Richard’s not having any trouble building the raft, he reckons he’s got it sorted out nice and early. Tying things together as Amber throws them to him.

Katie’s experienced at raft building, she says, so she thinks this will go smoothly. She’s lashing them together in the fashion they’re probably meant to go together but Robyn’s not convinced and might be doing a half assed job.

Richard and Amber are rushing through their build, but will their raft hold together once it hits the water? Gosh, I hope not!

Janet and Kirsten get to the raft building station as the other teams are still building their rafts. So they feel like they might still be in with a chance.

Katie’s being quite methodical with her raft building while Robyn’s just thinking of getting it down and into the water. And they’re first into the lake, followed not long after by Richard and Amber with their rickety looking raft.

But it’s Robyn and Katie’s raft that looks in danger of sinking first. And Richard and Amber bump into them and then pull ahead as the orange girls seem barely to move at all.

Of course they’re both taking turns at paddling backwards to try and aim their raft instead of just getting it faced properly to go forward… or something. I don’t know. But Robyn’s going psycho because she’s getting frustrated again.

But Janet and Kirsten have finished their raft. Kinda. It falls apart as soon as they put it into the water but they manage to cobble together enough of a raft to begin their voyage. Whether it’s enough to finish the voyage is another matter.

Meanwhile out in the centre of the lake Robyn’s still saying they’re not going anywhere and Katie’s trying to give instruction while Robyn continues to become even more of a psycho hose beast.

Gerald and Todd are just calmly paddling along in the background while Robyn starts accusing Katie of not paddling as hard as Robyn. Maybe you should have listened to Katie in the raft building?

Amber’s telling us her and her Dad haven’t had even a slight bicker today and they’re in the lead. They’re not making fast progress either but Amber’s singing “Row, row, row your boat!” and Richard’s saying the shore is in sight, Gilligan!

Janet says they’re catching up… but it’s a little bit late. Which pisses Kirsten off because Janet’s always adding negatives to whatever she says. More explosions!

On the far side of the lake Richard and Amber have paddled their way to victory. And their reward? A luxury night at the Matakauri Lodge. Oooh! Richard says he can taste the scotch already. Classy.

Todd’s getting huge blisters from their makeshift oars. He’s regretting not making the good ones, now. But second place isn’t so bad. And their prize? They get to do some “glamping” in a Britz campervan. It looks pretty nice but I’m not sure it has hot water or spacious beds like the lodge probably has.

Back out on the lake and Robyn’s calling for Richard to come help push them in to shore because their raft is still deteriorating. Richard bravely jumps into the water and helps pull them in. All while Robyn and Katie keep bitching and moaning at each other.

And the prize for third place? They’re camping! They have some camp chairs, maybe some tents to set up? Looks like a gas stove and so on. Not too bad a set up. But Robyn chucks a tanty. Katie says Robyn thought she was bad at 6? Robyn tells her it’s a good indicator of what’s coming in menopause. Katie says she’s moving out. Well, yes, you’re joining the Army, aren’t you? Hahahaha

And back out on the lake… things are getting worse for pink. Janet says the other teams are on the other side now so there’s no point. And Kirsten asks if Janet thinks she can’t see that?! That riles Janet up again, she screams at Kirsten to shut up, she’s whinged and whined the whole time. She can only take so much abuse, etc. Maybe if you weren’t such a terrible mother it wouldn’t happen so much? Hmmmm.

On the shoreline they’re having a chuckle at pink’s predicament. It’s gotten so bad that Amber, FUCKING FAT PRINCESS AMBER, has jumped back in the water and started swimming out to them to lend support. AMBER!!! I mean, come on. She’s calling encouragement to them as she comes closer and Janet’s responding quite bitchily and Kirsten, rightly, tells her Amber’s being supportive and she shouldn’t be so mean. But Kirsten’s just happy to have someone else to chat with in the form of Amber and Katie, not her Mum.

They finally get to shore and Kirsten starts to pull the raft up to land and Janet just sits there, telling Kirsten to pull her in. Bitch, help your daughter! Eventually all the other contestants come down to help them drag the remnants of their raft up the hill.

Then it’s off to find out what their prize is. They get sleeping bags to sleep in and a “survival kit” which is two tins of food, it seems. Kirsten’s not amused in the slightest. Janet doesn’t want to spend the night with Kirsten either. Richard says that’s okay because Katie and Robyn hate each other too. Robyn says no, they don’t hate each other, they just don’t row well together!

Anyway, Richard and Amber arrive at Matakauri Lodge and it is super fancy. SUPER fancy. Huge windows to look out over a lake and to a nearby mountain. Open fireplace, lounges, comfy beds, the whole nine yards.

Gerald and Todd have a look in their campervan and it’s not super fancy but it does have modcons like a kettle, microwave and even a dishwasher! So probably has a hot shower available? Looks a little cramped for the two of them with the camera crew inside, but should be relatively comfortable compared to the other two camping groups.

Robyn asks if Katie knows how to put a tent up. Katie knows. Robyn doesn’t. Robyn lets Dad handle that stuff. It’s not that she doesn’t like camping, she says, she just likes to have a proper toilet and a shower nearby.

Robyn’s looking at the size of the tent and thinking maybe they could just secure it and sleep under it rather than try to set it up. They’d still be better off than Janet and Kirsten, she says!

Kirsten and Janet aren’t having a good time. Janet reckons they’re the best off. Kirsten says she’d much rather be having a bubble bath in the hotel than sleeping with all the bugs she keeps eating and having freeze dried food. We see a foot wriggling in a bubble bath back at the Lodge… only it’s Richard’s foot. Eww!

Gerald and Todd bring out the camp chairs and sit back to admire the view… which is mostly Robyn and Katie trying to assemble their tent! Having finally giggled at them enough they offer to help the girls put their tent up.

It’s a very complicated tent, to be fair. After Gerald and Todd have trouble working it all out, Kirsten asks if they need more help and Katie says they can share the tent if they help set it up. Kirsten’s totally in for that! Not sure they’re supposed to share “rewards”, but oh well.

Their freeze dried food requires pouring boiling water into what looks like powdery stuff. Janet says she’s not sure if she’s just really hungry or if it’s actually amazing food. Kirsten laughs and says she could live off it.

Amber says their beds are like clouds… and everyone else is sleeping on the floor! Um, it’s called “the ground” when you’re outside, Amber!

Kirsten’s taken Robyn and Katie’s offer to share the tent but Janet’s determined to spend the night outside and she says it’s so beautiful outside.

Richard and Amber have had a great night’s sleep. Amber doesn’t want to get back up, best night’s sleep she’s ever had, she says.

Janet’s looking very tired. She spent the whole night outside. But more importantly she doesn’t really know how to ride a bike and that’s the first part of the third leg. 10km bike race!

Todd’s very excited because he loves riding bikes, does it all the time already. After the cycling leg they’ll be doing some white water rafting. Fortunately in purpose built inflatable rafts this time. While they can ride as fast or as slow as they want, they can’t start the paddling leg until both are at the launching point.

Richard and Amber get to start first today. Richard’s going out hard and Amber’s just going as best she can as she gets used to the bike.

Todd and Gerald are both going pretty hard but Todd in particular goes blitzing past Amber and then sails past Richard as well. Good work, Todd!

Katie and Robyn are off next. Katie’s taking the lead while Robyn goes slow behind her. She’s not real confident on the bike, doesn’t like gravel riding, doesn’t like gears. But Katie thinks she’s the one to beat today. Everyone always talks about how good Todd is on the bike or Gerald is, but nobody knows how good she is on the bike. Doesn’t help with wobbly Robyn bringing up the rear though.

Kirsten’s taken off at a good clip on the bike while Janet rattles along behind. She’s not entirely sure how to steer so is mostly doing it through leaning side to side. Corners are problematic. Kirsten’s really enjoying the ride, especially getting to do it on her own.

Todd’s gotten too far ahead of Gerald so he’s gone back to help his Dad up the hills. Then they can cruise down them, as that’s the fun part, Todd says. And he’s right! Downhills on bikes are much more fun. And fast. And scary!

Katie’s gone past Amber now, too. And Kirsten’s actually caught up to Robyn! She’s stoked to have caught up to someone and continues pedalling along.

Meanwhile Janet’s stuck not knowing how to use the gears so she has to push her bike up the hill and all she can think of is that Kirsten’s going to hate her because of how slow she’s going.

Todd’s out in front of Gerald again and encouraging him to go faster. They hit another big hill and swap to walking their bikes while Richard has parked his and headed back down the hill to get Amber. He actually starts pushing Amber’s bike while Amber trudges along behind. Not sure that’s in the rulebook either!

Gerald and Todd arrive at a big wooden suspension bridge and head across. Todd’s going too slow for Gerald’s taste for a change!

Katie’s catching up to Gerald and Todd at this point. Amber gets a bit wobbly across the bridge, as does Kirsten. Robyn’s having a grand old time with her fear of heights. She actually tries to pedal much faster across the bridge to get it done.

Janet’s caught up to the bridge but it’s unclear how much later that is.

Robyn’s still trailing along behind Kirsten but Gerald and Todd have arrived at the wetsuit station to get ready for the rafting. Katie arrives with them, which she’s seeing as a positive thing because she can be ready and dressed by the time Robyn arrives so they’ll be ready faster overall. Gerald and Todd are treating it as more of a team challenge and are sticking together for it all.

As Gerald and Todd head off to the rafts Robyn and Amber arrive at the bike dumping zone. Robyn runs past Amber and gets helped by Katie into her wetsuit, moving them up into second place.

Gerald and Todd are first to the rafts and some time thereafter the orange girls are into the water. They’re hoping to catch up but at least keep their position. Richard and Amber are in third and also aiming to catch up. But there’s scary whitewater rafting ahead!

Lots of paddling. They have a professional in the stern of the boat and a poor cameraman sitting in the bow to record the journey. That’s got to be the worst job right now, can’t even watch where you’re going.

Kirsten says it feels like forever she’s waiting for Janet. Janet asks if Kirsten was worried about her? “No.”

Todd’s having a great time in the rapids. Gerald says they’d had a bit of a drought, the guys told him, so it wasn’t as wild as it normally was. Gerald wants to come back when it’s wilder, he says with a grin.

Robyn’s having fun, too. Katie used to watch such things on the internet, Robyn says, now she’s out there doing it. “Life’s good”, says Katie.

Richard and Amber are battling the waves quite a bit. Richard says it’s what he imagines being in a washing machine would be like.

Kirsten thinks them not having to ride together today helped them as they’re not as cranky today. They’re still last, but it’s okay, there’s still another leg to go.

Gerald and Todd are first to the finish line with Robyn and Katie a ways behind and Richard and Amber even further back.

Tomorrow night… wait, what? That’s Wednesday. Biggest Loser isn’t meant to be on Wednesdays. Anyway, the final leg tomorrow night. Clear your schedules! Or come back for the recap again. Same bat time, same bat channel.