Previously on The Biggest Loser they did the half ass fat ass half marathon, earning three couples a 1kg advantage at weigh in. Cher and her Mum have Shannan all to themselves until weigh in, but will it be enough to keep them safe?

Tonight! Big Kev has not turned up to training and Tiny Michelle is NOT HAPPY. Cher’s not coping well with the gruelling training, either. She doesn’t want to do any of it anymore. Awww.

And the first competitive weigh in and elimination are coming up tonight. It should be the second, but they got out of it the first time by collectively losing 100kg!

But as the episode starts we’re treated to Kevin lying in bed and not training. He’s struggling after the half marathon, as you might expect. His Mum says he needs a rest and he’ll be staying in bed, on her orders it seems.

I’m not sure Mish will see it that way!

They turn up to training and Michelle notices he’s not there for Last Chance Training. She says this is what it takes, you don’t roll up to Camp and then roll back out. You’ve got to do the work! She tells us everyone is hurting, everyone is tired but you’re there for a reason. Not turning up to training isn’t good enough!

Mish gets up to the bedroom and she finds Kev in the bathroom. He staggers out and is dressed for a workout. Mish says if he can make it down to training she’ll redesign the workout so he can at least do something. Kev’s looked at the photo of his girlfriend and so even though his feet are hurting a lot he’s going to do it.

Mish tells them all there’s always something they can do if they have an injury or they’re just sore. She’s got Kev on the rowing machine for an upper body workout. Richard from team light blue has come over to offer support to Kev during training to keep him going, which is pretty nice since they’re technically in competition with each other!

Steve’s got his muppets in an indoor gym today. He’s hammering it into them that it’s all about the Yellow Line this week. They’re all feeling the pinch after not too long in the gym today but Sam and Jess, despite having a 1kg advantage, are working very hard.

Jess says she felt like her lungs would fall out of her body but she worked as hard as she could. Steve then gets at her to work the rowing machine to the 400 metre mark. We find out that she has a stepdaughter, kinda. She has to marry her boyfriend and then she will and she doesn’t want to be a bad influence on her stepdaughter. Sam says Jess is a force to be reckoned with now her head is switched on.

Shannan’s pushing his yellow girls to the max in Last Chance Training but mostly he wants to make sure Cher’s not a quitter. He’s got them out in the “sweat bowl”, which is a big sandy hill near the ocean. He’s got them carrying cones from the bottom of the hill to the top of the hill in a time limit. If they don’t get there in time they have to start over. Ouch!

After an ad break Cher’s decided she wants to sit down on the sand. Cher doesn’t want to do any of it, she wants to go home and see her family. Boohoohoo. Shannan says her Mum’s here! Cher thinks it’s unfair for her Mum to have to drag Cher through it. But it’s fair to drag her Mum home with her, Shannan asks? Want to go back into your little bubble, Cher? It’s going to burst at some point, Shannan says. She’s heading for death if she keeps going the way she has been.

Shannan finally gets her back on her feet and down the hill and starts again. Shannan’s not pushing her up the hill this time, she’s going at her own pace, one foot in front of the other. Her Mum’s at the top cheering her on and so Cher’s not giving up.

And she finally makes it up to the top of the hill. Once. She has a long, long way to go. Cher wants to make her Mum proud. Her Mum did it despite the pain.

“Ooooh I hate being fat!” – Cher.

And now it’s time for the weigh in. Everyone’s looking pretty grim this time around, not that air of slight optimism!

The safety net is gone, Hayley says. The two teams with the lowest percentages will be facing elimination and one couple will then go home.

Cue the recap of the week’s events. Boring, Hayley. Boring.

First team up, Orange. Robyn and Katie.

Robyn: 98kg -6.4kg Katie: 121kg -7kg Total: 13.4kg 5.77%

Likely safe! Robyn is chuffed, Katie’s in tears for some reason. 7kg in the second week is pretty dang good. Mish and Robyn both tell her so. But she’s still terrified they might be going home. Katie’s respected by the other contestants, revered even, Shannan says. But that’s another problem, Katie says, it makes her a target. Mish tells her she’s overthinking it!

Katie ultimately wants to see a female commando at the end of the journey. Katie wants to join the Army. Her Mum was in the Air Force and Dad was in the Army. Robyn says Katie’s the bee’s knees. I don’t know if Robyn is aware how small bees are…

After the ad break, Black! Chris and Mark.

Chris: 134.8kg 8.6kg Mark: 142.4kg 11.2kg Total: 19.8kg 6.67%

New first place and very likely safe as a result.

Gerald: 137kg 8kg Todd: 99.3kg 6.2kg Total: 14.2kg 5.67%

Third place, making Chris and Mark safe and Gerald and Todd in a bit of danger!

Richard: 126.1kg 7.2kg Amber: 103kg 4.3kg Total: 11.5kg (12.5kg after advantage) 5.2%

Fourth place. Which is dead last right now and in a lot of danger. Amber thinks she’s been putting in a lot of effort and Richard thinks she could work a bit harder but she’s done better this week. Mish tells us this pair frustrates her. Amber’s not been putting in 100% and Richard’s been sticking up for her a bit. Richard’s been the “good cop” in the family, giving the money and doing the car trips to Maccas and so on.

Next up, Big Kev and Rosemary. Uhoh!

Rosemary: 91.8kg 8.3kg Kevin: 241.5kg 13.2kg Total: 21.5kg 6.06%

Second place, meaning they’re safe. That’s a pretty weak effort from Kevin, given he’s the biggest contestant ever. Rosemary thought she wouldn’t’ve lost any weight because she’s been hobbling around with arthritis but she’s tried to keep moving all the time.

Kevin knows his result isn’t great. He had an “injury”, he says and didn’t feel like getting out of bed. Shannan asks what the injury was and Kevin says his feet was sore. So no injury, he was just sore like everyone else. Rosemary says she wouldn’t want to be his size and trying to walk around. And has Kevin’s diet been spot on? Rosemary says yes, he doesn’t even eat everything he’s supposed to, he’s not been hungry. Mish isn’t buying it and Rosemary says she’s been sat beside him every time, she knows what he eats. Mish tells us she’s not buying it at all, she’s been doing it a long time and with his weight the kilos should be dropping off him.

Next up, Pink!

Janet: 94.2kg 5.5kg Kirsten: 88.9kg 5kg Total: 10.5kg (11.5kg with advantage) 5.94%

Third place! Janet says they could share each other’s clothes now and Kirsten very quickly says they can’t!

Anita: 108kg 9.6kg Cher: 161kg 11.2kg Total: 20.8kg 7.18%

First place! Of course those are “first week” numbers for the Yellow girls…

Grey team will need to lose at least 16kg to be safe from elimination.

Mandy: 99.3kg 6.5kg Brett: 166kg 8.8kg Total: 15.3kg 5.45%

7th, just above the Yellow Line. Richard and Amber definitely facing elimination. Last to weigh in are Sam and Jess. They’ll need 12.7kg with their 1kg weight advantage to stay safe. They should do that fairly easily.

Sam’s confident. Jess is terrified!

Sam: 116kg 4.9kg Jess: 123.2kg 6.5kg Total: 11.4kg (12.4kg after advantage) 4.95%

Meaning Sam and Jess, Richard and Amber will be up for elimination. Both Father/Daughter pairs! Jess is quite happy with her loss but Sam is disappointed. He picked up a knee injury but was hoping for more like Jess’ loss. Sam knows he needs to be there for the rest of the show and so does Jess!

Anita and Cher are the week’s Biggest Losers, pretty much on a technicality if you ask me.

Hayley then says, “Your future in this competition is now resting in the hands of your fellow competitors… or is it?” Not everyone will be voting in Elimination, just one member of each team will be voting. Eh, no big deal then. Most of the pairs probably have similar notions.

New Elimination Room! It’s darker and no longer full of background junk food. Approved!

So who’ll be voting? Kirsten, Gerald, Cher, Robyn, Brett, Mark and Rosemary.

It’ll be really hard to make the choice, Robyn and Gerald both say. Gerald says he decided to sit in the room rather than Todd, bit too much for a 15 year old. Mark says they’d all like to go back and play happy families and never vote anyone out, but that’s not how it works. Kirsten’s become good friends with Amber, so it sucks.

Amber says she needs to be there. If she leaves she’s going down the same path as her Nan. You remember, the one who died! She doesn’t want to need a triple size coffin. Richard brings a certain oomph to the house, he thinks. A sense of fun. He’s successful outside the house and he’d like to be successful inside the house. He’s seeming a bit of a dick, I must say. He also says it’s a game of two halves, emotion and strategy. The people voting should know if they keep Richard and Amber it’ll only be one of the other teams, not two of them. He thinks they’d be below the Line again as they have been below both times.

Sam says you do need some fun but jokes will only get you so far through. He’s taken a bit of a leadership role and there’s no rubbish behind where he stands. They’re not the easy target, that’s for sure. That’s not what it’s about, either. They need the challenge, they need to be pushed. Richard clarifies that he’s going to give it a red hot go, but they’ve always struggled losing weight in the past. And if you’re looking at playing the game it makes sense to look at the track record so far.

Jess had also made it quite clear that she was there for the fame at the start and while he thinks she’s turned a corner a bit and he doesn’t want to make her out to be a bad person, but… him and Amber came there to change and they’ve known they’ve needed to change for a long time.

Jess has broken down in tears so they go to Sam for some more chatter. Jess and her partner are living together and they’ve finally gotten custody of the stepdaughter after some difficult times. Meanwhile, Amber lives at home with her parents.

Oh dear, it’s all getting a bit nasty. And so soon!

Amber’s got a free ride at home, Sam says. Richard says if she doesn’t get the chance to change now she’ll still be living at home in ten years time.

Amber says she really needs to be there, not ready to go. Blah blah. Jess says they need to learn how to get their life on track. The other contestants know what she’s really like now so it’s up to them.

Time to vote!

First to four goes home.

First to vote is Kirsten. Her vote is for the team that have the strength to do it on the outside. Sam and Jess: 1!

Gerald’s next. He had a hard time splitting the two. Ultimately he went for who lost the least weight. Sam and Jess: 2!

Cher says one team has been supporting them from the start, one team hasn’t. Richard and Amber: 1!

Richard’s been giving Kevin a lot of support, so Rosemary’s voting… Sam and Jess: 3!

Brett’s gone with their heart, one team has supported them, etc. Richard and Amber: 2!

Robyn had a dark patch with one couple and but for the father they would have been in the bottom two. So she’s voted… Sam and Jess!

That brings their total to four meaning they’re going home. So you won’t be getting famous as anything but the first evictees this season. No need to see Mark’s vote.

Sam thinks they made the wrong decision but what’s done is done. Jess didn’t expect to be going home. She thought she was doing well and fitting in. Cher’s in tears as she was good friends with Jess. She hopes Jess can believe in herself and get it done on the outside.

Hayley says the Red Team’s time at Camp Biggest Loser has come to an end… for now!

For the first time they’re being offered a lifeline. Everyone gets a chance to win their way back in. It’s really not the first time then, they’re just explicitly stating it right up front. Which I approve the hell out of! Keep up the good work on the outside and they’ll return at some later point…

4 weeks later… They’ve been working hard. Sam’s looking pretty good, Jess hasn’t really changed a lot. We’ll see. Before the show they were eating junk, now they’re eating salads. You know, the usual changes.

They’ve lost a total of 34kg since Day 1, it says. They’re coming back fighting so the other contestants should watch out!

Tomorrow night a surprise training session with the Sydney Kings basketball team… we still have basketball? Oh. And the training session ends “in disaster”! First ambulance of the year, but who is it for?