Tonight! The game is getting dirty. Dirty, dirty, dirty. Eww.

Apparently some food shenanigans have been going on. We also get more of a look behind the scenes with Alex’s drama over being shackled to Graham. Some more footage of the contestants meeting their cardboard cutouts.
And Selena gets a makeover we’re all going to have to pretend she looks good as a result of. PRETEND SO HARD.

But first a bunch of replayed footage from the week. Hooray! This isn’t at all chewing up valuable time. It needs to hurry up, a storm is brewing outside!

Selena got eliminated this week and so now it’s time to have a catchup with her. Has she flourished on the outside?
Well, we already know she hasn’t.
She says seeing her family again as a “healthy person” is great. Her Dad is ex-Army and is making her workout on the beach. She’s still doing it half-assed, big surprise!
Her Dad seems quite happy with the changes in her and is very proud of her. Awww!

She does sessions with her PT but also goes to Zumba classes because she loves dancing. Her Zumba class is about 90% skinny bitches who should just eat a sammich and do some real exercise and a couple of chubbies who’re obviously there for the right reason.

Selena used to eat takeaways a lot but now she’s making salad wraps to eat. Seems like a lot of chicken in that “salad”. Mmmm, chicken.
And Selena’s enjoying going out with her friends and checking out boys and stuff now.
She’s still hoping to find that one guy who likes her for her but now she’s going out there looking for it, not just dreaming.

Lydia approaches her cardboard cutout with Mish in tow. Her cardboard cutout has no ears! She points it out and laughs.
She tells Mish that other people look at their’s and say they’re disgusted and it’s not the same person but Lydia’s not disgusted, she knows it’s her there. But she was a lot angrier and that’s obvious in the way she looks in the cutout. She doesn’t approve of the way she looked but it’s still her.
She realises she shouldn’t’ve been angry at the people around her, rather angry at herself for getting to that stage.
She also notices how much she used to chew her fingernails. Mish suggests that maybe it was part of her anxiety? Lydia says definitely.

Mish tells us that people only lose weight when they get their emotions involved. They won’t if they’re just told to.

Kasey realises how bad she was looking then, especially with the double chin. Which she still has? So I’m not sure how that’s changed. It’s a bit smaller, perhaps?
She was very unhappy and making excuses about it all. Now she’s started to like herself and her body. Tiff says that now she believes in herself and she can fight this, not go back to the old self.

In some more never-before-seen footage Michelle is going to reveal some of the dirty tricks some of the contestants are using to get ahead.
Michelle is working out as Tiff asks her how she thinks the other teams are going with their nutrition. Apparently someone made a curry and gave it to some people? Guess which team. That’s right, Red!
None of the ingredients were fat free or low in fat or anything like that and it was dished up to other people and they didn’t question it, didn’t realise what was happening.

Tiff tells them to trust nobody! They’re down to singles now, trust nobody!

Michelle says she doesn’t trust Lydia. Lydia made 7 cupcakes, there’s 8 contestants and Lydia was never seen eating one. Alex, who is comforting Margie at the time (?) looks interested in the cupcakes, so probably a safe bet he had one?
Tiff says there’s food spiking going on in every season, don’t trust anything anyone else cooks. Michelle tells us she won’t trust anyone any more.

Now it’s time for Dr Swan to catch up with Selena. Selena says it’s been a bit harder on the outside but she is getting a lot of support from her family.
She’s eating “fairly healthy”. Morning is breakfast cereal with skim milk, lunch is the aforementioned salad wrap with chicken and dinner is the “Selena Specialty”, stirfry with chicken and lots of vegetables.

Time to show her THE KITCHEN OF DOOM. A week in the life of Selena contained a hell of a lot of Tim Tams. 2 packs a day, Selena admits.
That’s just… I love cookies. I love them a lot. There have been days where I might have only eaten cookies all day.

But 2 entire packets? Every single day? I’m not sure I can even believe that. Not even believe it of Selena. It can’t be every day.

Dr Swan says she was eating the same stuff every day. Hamburger and chips, some pizza occasionally, takeaway chinese. Lots of carbs and cola and fat.
What will stop her from going back to that? Nothing but her, she says. There’s plenty of other ways to get a rush – bungee jumping, getting a tattoo. That’s a rush, not eating food that will end up killing her.

Selena’s chronologically 22. Her original bio age was 34.
Her new bio age? 28. That’s regained 6 years and only 6 to go. Selena says the others in the house are doing it fast fast fast but she’s on the outside doing it at her own pace and slow and steady wins the race. Dr Swan says slow and steady gets good results but it’ll take another couple of years. It won’t happen overnight, but it will heppen?

Some more fun with Alex shackled to Graham during their training session.
Alex starts out having a giggle about it, asking Cardboard Graham if he wants to do situps or pushups first? How about the treadmill for a warmup?
Simon’s giving him a lot of support, Graham’s just sort of standing there, staring.

Alex is trying to keep a smile on his face but it gets harder as the session wears on. Simon says he’ll just have to do what they’re doing there, working out together. Stay focused, keep doing it.
Alex says he’d rather jump out of a plane than be chained to someone 24/7.

Hayley says Selena has lost 33kg so far and now it’s time for Selena to get her makeover with Sammy.
Selena says life is different on the outside, a lot more peaceful for one!

Ready for a makeover? Errr… what about the hair, Selena wonders?

Selena likes having really dark eyes, smokey eyes. And they’re going to try straightening her crazy hair! This should be very interesting.
She tells Sammy she’s a lot more confident on the outside now. And when she got home the first thing she did was throw out all of her pants and bought some dresses and skirts and stuff. She’s sick of wearing pants!

Last time Selena looked in a mirror she thought of herself as an elephant, she says. How about now?
Erm. That hairstyle is right out of Return of the Jedi. Leia’s hair after pampering courtesy of the ewoks! Huge improvement over her crazy afro of before.

She’s… yeah, not looking that great otherwise. Still very obviously very overweight and it’s only the fact they’re some really fancy clothes that hide it well that keeps the illusion in place.
Sammy tells her she looks stunning and imagine how much better she’ll look by Finale!

She’s got quite a lot of weeks between then and now so fingers crossed she starts putting in some hard work on the outside!

Annnnnnnnd that’s all for tonight.
Tune in Monday for Commando Steve versus Graham in one very uncomfortable round of Weekly Weigh In!