Previously on The Biggest Loser… Hamish got eliminated and so Shannan left. Booooo! BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

This week it’s the Old Dogs versus the Young Pups. Margie’s joined the White Team and the remaining Black and Red members have formed the Old Dogs team.

The Old Dogs then won at The Contest and Simon will be off on The Walk tonight to find… some kind of secret thing. Or something.

Tonight! Simon goes on The Walk, the contestants have a healthy cooking challenge and it’ll all be topped off by a very painful Speed Dating session that I really don’t want to watch…

Simon’s got a choice of three boxes, as usual. But this time it’s Food, Training or… THE SECRET. Picking Food or Training is a chump’s choice, Simon. Don’t do it!

Hayley says the secret will give someone a huge advantage in the competition. Simon’s not heard of a Secret box before, it’s always been a Mystery box.
And so of course Simon chooses The Secret. How could he go past that, he asks us. And he says to Hayley that he’s too interested in what it could be to pass it up!

Simon opens the envelope and… doesn’t read the letter for us. Boooo. Says to Hayley it sounds massive and he’ll have to have a thing about it.
He gets to go back to Camp and discuss it with his teammates.

Lydia says having power over another team paints a target on your back but it’s important to grab advantages where you can.

Simon walks into the bedroom where Lisa, Lydia, Graham and Alex are waiting for him. He has a big grin on his face as he spells out what happened.
The letter said “Choose one contestant to find out The Secret”.

Simon can choose himself, but he says they’re discussing it first.
Lydia tells us she didn’t want Simon to have the information. But she also wants to know it herself.

Neither Alex nor Graham wants it. Graham says he’s okay with Simon knowing it.
Lydia says she wants it because she wants any advantage she can get, of course, but at the same time she doesn’t want to feel any less honest getting through the game.

In the end only Simon and Lydia want it so they decide to just go ahead and rock-paper-scissors for it. I guess they can’t rock-paper-scissors-lizard-spock because it’s the wrong channel.
Simon wins the first, Lydia wins the second and Lydia wins the third. So she’ll get to learn the secret. And Simon tells us he’s gutted!

Maybe The Secret is The Bunker? Really hope not, that would be super creepy. Creepy enough with the trainers watching them!

Hayley tells Lydia she is going to find out a secret that gives her a huge responsibility. It could take her right through to Finale. Does it scare her? Yes, it does. She knows she’s made herself a target with it. But she’s hoping to use it to spur her on to always be above the Yellow Line.
Could be the best decision ever, or the worst!

Can she keep a secret? Absolutely.

Let’s go find out! Hayley leads Lydia out through the doors and off into somewhere else at Camp. Ad breaks are more important than us finding out The Secret, apparently.

Hayley leads Lydia through a tunnel down in the bowels of Camp Biggest Loser. Then opens a door that leads down some stairs and into what looks like a cell block and then through a big safety door… AND INTO THE BUNKER!!!

Creeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeepy.

Lydia’s astonished. Live cameras, footage of the other Old Dogs working out in the gym are up at the time.
But there’s others. Want to see them? Sure!
Hallway, lounge (Selena slacking off), dining room (Margie eating), kitchen (Kasey faffing about), cool room (Simon grabbing an apple!) and the top gym.
Secret cameras have been recording everything at Camp, Hayley announces. We see some earlier footage of Graham resting in the lounge on a number of occasions.
Lots of diets being broken and sneaky snacking. Including Margie sneakily eating a cheese sandwich that she hid from Lydia!

They’ve also seen alliances established. Lydia nods with a wry look on her face.

Lydia now has the chance to come in there any time she wants to watch people train, eat, listen to their conversations…
This is massive, Lydia knows. Lydia thinks she’ll find out the reality of some of the people in the house and that’s a bit scary.

And she can’t tell ANYONE about it. If she does the privilege will be revoked and there will be other severe consequences. Unnamed ones, but they’re severe!

Hayley leaves Lydia to it.

The Black Team are discussing Lydia’s need to be in control and she watches that and laughs.

Loser Lounge and everyone but Lydia is there. Kasey, Michelle and Margie are on one lounge and Selena is off on another lounge entirely. Very telling.

Lydia not being there has Margie a little worried.
Simon spells out The Walk to the Young Pups and choosing The Secret, etc.

So now everyone knows Lydia has a Secret and will be at her all the time asking her what it is. And Simon makes an early play at a new nickname for her, saying “The Secret has arrived” as she walks into the lounge.

Simon says he can tell Lydia knowing the secret is burning Margie up inside. He doesn’t seem too upset by that!

Lydia can’t say anything about The Secret. Not even how she’s feeling about it. Not anything about it. Can’t talk about it. Margie doesn’t like these secrets!

The Trainers finally turn up and they’re all in civvies instead of workout gear. Margie says Mish looked amazing and Tiff too. Commando? Eh, whatever!

No training today, Mish announces. Surprise instead! They’re going to have a Cook Off!

Kasey doesn’t like cooking. She doesn’t cook at home. She has people cook for her. And she knows that sounds a bit princessy!

They have to create a three course meal that comes under 1,000 calories and they only have an hour to do it. And it’s still Old Dogs versus Young Pups.
The Old Dogs are really confident going into this.

The Trainers will be the judges. The two criteria are the calorie knowledge and… well, it’s got to taste good!

Aprons for everyone. And a hat! The White Team have a giggle at Margie and Margie giggles along and says “LET’S GO BAKE SOME BREAD” because she does look just like a baker!

And by the way, Mish says. Winner gets bragging rights. And a small, token prize, as well.

Game on, kids!

Lydia’s taking on the head chef role and her team seems quite happy with that. Alex tells us Lydia’s always well organised and he’s happy to put his faith in her plan.

Michelle’s organising the Young Pups, much to her own surprise. She says she felt like working in hospitality as she does was a good basis for it.

Kasey’s a sous chef, Michelle says. Kasey has no idea what that means but she’s happy to go along with it!
Margie’s really impressed by the way Michelle’s taken the lead.

Lisa’s cooking away and asks the Young Pup girls if they need any help with anything and Simon hustles over to remind her not to help them!
Lisa says they’ve got no chance anyway!

Margie has a lighthearted dig at Lisa and Simon cooking together like life partners. Awww!

Lisa says Simon’s a lovely man and would make a wonderful husband, he’s very genuine. Awwww!

Margie’s in charge of the sashimi entree. She’s lost weight from her arms and her chest and her neck but she says she still has chunky fingers so it’s a little bit difficult wrapping up the little seaweed roll things. But her skills as a pizza making lady are obviously serving her well in handling the food.
Michelle “checks” one of the less successful sashimis for flavour and says it’s amazing.

Alex is a butcher by trade so he’s looking after a big hunk of beef for the Old Dogs.

With ten minutes left Margie announces for her team that there’s ten minutes left. And then repeats it much louder for the Old Dogs, to much giggling all round.

White’s really happy with what they’ve come up with, as are Black/Red. Little bit of last minute tidying up of their dishes and the time runs out and… they all look really well done. Masterchef-y, even. Nothing super duper fancy, but nice.
If you like fish, anyway. Quite a lot of fishy things on the plates.

The Old Dogs dishes are labeled as “Team A” and go out first. 799 calories for their three dishes.
Entree: Scallop on beetroot puree with ricepaper roll containing some veggies.

Mish loves scallops so she’s happy. And the beetroot is a little unusual but Tiff approves.
Beetroot’s good for us then? I’ll have to buy MORE.

Main: Thai beef salad.
Steve thinks it’s not too bad at all. Tiff says it’s a bit meat heavy for her but Steve says he likes it just like that, getting a grin and laugh out of the girls.

Dessert: figs cut into quarters, some walnuts and some candied honey drizzled over the top.

The trainers are fascinated by the almost-toffee honey. They’re not sure how they caramelised or set it. Mish says it’s like a toffee and it’s really nice. Tiff agrees and says she can’t stop eating it.

Team B’s got a lot to match up to, the trainers all say.

Team B entree: oysters and sashimi.
The oysters are fresh, Mish says. I think Steve’s a bit reluctant to eat them. Obviously had a bad experience?
Mish says there’s a higher calorie content in salmon than other fish but it’s only a really small amount, so it’s okay. And the whole thing is quite filling, Tiff says, meaning you don’t go as hard at the main.
Tiff tells us she thought the entree was actually her favourite meal. Lots of good fats to fill you up straight off and it was a clean, light, healthy meal. Delicious!

Main: Soba noodles with mussels.
Steve says he likes it but he’s not really keen on noodles or rice or anything like that. But mussels? Yes, very yes!

Dessert is a simple fruit salad with some yoghurt in a cup. Which Mish says is a bit easy. But it looks great if that’s what you want.
Tiff gets a grin on her face and says she liked Team A’s dessert more.

With both meals coming in around the same calorie count it comes down to taste more.

Tiff liked Team B’s entree better but Team A’s main and dessert more, so she’s going with Team A.
Mish agrees with Tiff on Team B’s entree but she preferred the mussels in Team B’s meal to the meat in Team A’s. And yes, Team A’s dessert by a long way. Mish is going with Team B.

Meaning poor old Steve has the deciding vote! He buries his face in his hands with a grin.

Mish says they’ve all done very well. They were even presented wonderfully which wasn’t even a thing they were taking into account.
Tiff tells them they presented meals which were delicious and nutritious and healthy. And they proved being healthy isn’t boring.
Steve reminds them that they had to also come in under 1,000 calories and taste good.

So the winner of the Young vs Old cookoff is… TEAM A!

So the Old Dogs win the cookoff and get the golden spoon trophy thing.

Mish says that the best thing was that if any of them came round to one of their houses and got served either set of meals they’d be totally happy. Very satisfied by the food. Know they hadn’t blown their own food budgets by having a bite to eat with them, etc.

Before coming on the show Kasey’s favourite meal was potato bake. I’ve no idea how anyone eats that crap.
Kasey says one serve of that was probably over 1,000 calories and now they’ve done a three course meal that’s under that.

Michelle’s been missing Hamish a lot and now she has a letter from him. Awww!
And he calls her “My Starshine”. OH GOD. CHEESE. CHEEEEEEEEEESE.
Hamish is grateful for the time they’ve spent together and getting to know her. The week away has been filled with new feelings. “Butterflies that fill my stomach suddenly burst into an overwhelming sensation of what I believe to be love.”

Stoppppp, I can’t keep laughing and recapping at the same time. It’s impossible!

I mean, Michelle’s very emotional while reading the letter, having to stop a couple of times to wipe away some tears. And she tells us she feels the same way about him. So sweet!

Michelle and Kasey walk into the lounge later and see a letter. Everyone gathers around to find out what the heck is in this letter.

Michelle reads it out and they need to get in their Sunday best and meet Hayley in the weigh-in room. Hmmm! Something’s afoot!

There’s chairs and flowers and lovely drapes everywhere. Hayley welcomes them all to this week’s… Temptation?
Where’s the food? Margie can’t even smell any food. Bit confusing.

Time to even up the odds for this Temptation so the Old Dogs have to choose one person to sit out. Lydia’s happy to sit out because she doesn’t want Immunity anyway.

Time to get into it, then. Tonight is Temptation with a twist. Tonight’s Temptation is called “Charm School”!
Lydia is chuffed she’s sitting out now, thumbs up and “RIGHT DECISIONNNNNN” she says.

Kasey’s got no idea what Hayley’s even talking about, thinking only of charms like for a bracelet.

Hayley says they all came to Camp as singles, lacking in confidence for the most part. Tonight is about showing how far they’ve come in confidence, self belief and personality.
Tonight they’ll be doing the Tempting.

Outside there’s 24 people who have come to Camp to be charmed by them. Oh dear.
And they’re not all fellow chubbies, by the look of it. Bit of a mix of both chubby and skinny people.

Selena says she feels socially awkward a lot, both because of her weight and her disability. She always worries she won’t be able to hear people properly.

There’s four booths along the wall with a nice cosy little setup inside. And they’ll get 90 seconds to chat to each of the 24 people. And during that time they have to charm the pants off them!
The charmed folk will get to vote for who they think is the most charming and charismatic afterwards and the winning team will get a night out at a five star restaurant. “The Bather’s Pavillion”, apparently.

And the individual who gets the most votes will receive Immunity.

Margie’s really happy that she gets a chance to win Immunity without having to eat her way to it.
Alex is happy because he’s got Lisa, Simon, Graham and himself on the team. Lisa and Simon are well spoken and Graham… well, he might be a bit nervous. But the other team has Michelle, she’s so pretty.
Kasey’s worried about Alex because he’s got a way with… the laaaaadies.
Lisa says the most charming is obviously Simon!

Michelle sees this as more of a challenge than a Temptation. She’s always struggled to talk to new boys so she’s not sure how she’ll go here.

Michelle meets Richard first. He seems nice enough but Michelle is very nervous. Tells us she wanted to just hide.

Margie feels a bit awkward, bit like it’s a first date. Her first one is with a lady and she calls it speed dating. So. Maybe also a lesbian? Or just up for a giggle at least.

Kasey’s chatting to some tattooed chap. Which kicks off a discussion about her and another contestant having an agreement to get a “Lighter, Faster, Stronger” tatt after the show, which is Biggest Loser’s motto.
The guy doesn’t seem too fascinated by the discussion. And can’t get out of the little room quickly enough!

Selena says she’s feeling nervous but her first comment to the guy who comes in is “YES! A HANDSOME MAN!” Um, yeah, way to not be a freak!
Then she’s lost for words and mumbles along for a bit.

Michelle’s having an easier time of it, she says, because she’s got Hamish in her life now so it’s not about “meeting boys” for her, really. Just having a chat for 90 seconds with the guy.
Her and one of the guys have a chat about working in coffee shops, as they both do. Seems no less awkward than, well, any other set of strangers sitting for a chat.

Selena is coming out of her shell more, she says. The two Tongan boys in particular she liked. One of them kissed her on the cheek! And she thanked him in a very girlish voice that really doesn’t suit her.
She’s really happy to have gotten a kiss on the cheek from a cute guy. She’s blushing again relating the story to us afterwards! And she says she wants his number!

Margie’s got a kiss from two of the blokes as well. Haha! She says it wasn’t what she was aiming for but they were lovely young blokes so she can’t complain too much!
“Gettin’ lucky tonight!”

Selena tells us she was really excited to get through 24 chats without having a break down.

Time for the Old Dogs to take their turn.

Graham’s working up a sweat just sitting in the chair waiting. Seems to me like this might another kind of exercise his team could insist on.

Graham says the 24 people are from “Oasis Active” which is a dating service. So I guess we know how they got so many people to line up for this horror show!

Graham’s having trouble chatting to the first girl. And, well, I’d be a bit nervous too. She’s quite cute!

Alex is trying to impress his girl by saying he has a Ferrari Testarossa. Showing your age there, Alex.
He said that because she’s an insurance agent. So, you know, he’s looking for an angle to call her up again.

Alex then gets a chat with a tatted up girl and he admires her tatts.

Simon tells us that he and Lisa do have a relationship but they know they’ve got to put some of that aside at times for the competition. So they’d said to each other beforehand to just go for their life, they’ve got to win this. So Simon’s going to be nice and Lisa’s going to be flirty, I guess?

Simon gets chatting to a rock n roll chick who says her favourite is 80s era rock. And he clutches his chest as if lovestruck.
Lisa’s having a giggle to us saying he can charm them all he likes but that’s as far as it goes. He has permission for that!

Chubby lady chatting to Alex says she goes to the RSL with friends. Not alone. But Alex says she should invite him, don’t be shy!

Graham’s chatting to a lady. Says the clothes look nice on her. Yep.
Graham says he’s not even thinking about his weight much tonight, just trying to have fun.
Graham tells one of the ladies he plays a lot of sports. Um. Yeah. You know she can see you, right? It’s not the internet?

Cough cough.

Anyway, it’s all over now and Hayley has the votes tallied.

13-11! Very close split.
But who won?

The winning team is… THE YOUNG PUPS! Wooooooo! They’re all stoked.

But who got the most votes for themself, personally?

Who has Immunity?

TUNE IN TOMORROW NIGHT.

Damn it all.

Also tomorrow night, while the Young Pups are out on the town celebrating their win… Hamish gets reunited with Michelle. AWWWWWWWW! PUPPY LOVE! KISSING!

And the old dogs learn some new tricks from a 70+ year old old dog.

And also a challenge kicks off. That Margie looks like she might be deliberately throwing to ensure the Young Pups lose.