At last! Some footage that comes from the show itself, not just carefully staged promo material!

The latest ad to hit telly is a “sneak peek”, with a bunch of snippets from the show, featuring fat people working out, fat people getting muddy, fat people falling down a sand dune, fat people walking up the road to the mansion…

Well, see for yourself:

As you can see, it starts out with a recap of past seasons. And wow, I’d forgotten how scary Chris was at the end. As good a result as it was, I hope we don’t see anyone that skinny again.

After that we move on to some enormously fat fellow, whose face isn’t revealed (expect a surprise in relation to him) but who says that if he were to die the only thing he could give God would be a bunch of fat excuses. I doubt he’d be getting a chance to chat with God, though, since he wouldn’t make it past the Pearly Gates at this point – gluttony’s one of them extra-naughty sins.

“There is no words to explain how much it hurts. […] *tears* YIP.” I have no idea what the “yip” is. I assume it’s supposed to be a response to a question? I hope she doesn’t cry like that all the time!

“I love my Dad to bits and, you know, he doesn’t think I can do it. I’ve come here to show him I can.” Sounds a bit wog-y. Like Greg and Adro. No idea who it is but expect whoever it is to do well!

Then we have Ms Voiceover telling us that there’s more contestants than ever before, as they’re walking down the road to the mansion. And she’s quite correct, there’s a whole bunch of them! I count 28 coming up the road but it’s hard to say for sure. 14 for each trainer seems a stretch though. I’m sure Michelle and Shannan could do it, I have faith in their abilities. But you have to figure there’s not enough hours per week of the show to do them all justice if they’re all going to be there?

It’s possible they’ll have the “Jillian on a bike” moment, where some contestants who thought they were going home will actually be trained in secret. But 28 does not evenly divide by 3. 4 teams is a possibility, 7 in each. With the Commando appearing later in the clip, that makes it a possibility of him training a secret team again. But unless he’s going to take on 14 by himself…?

Perhaps what they’ll do is eliminate one person from each of Michelle and Shannan’s 14 member teams each week, sending the eliminated people off to train with the Commando for a comeback later in the show? This way nobody would ever “get to go home and see their family” as some complained people like Marty got to do, but at the same time the show wouldn’t be seen as abandoning some of the fatties who needed help the most, such as David from the first series.

If that isn’t what happens, Fremantle are certainly free to steal the idea for next season.

Then we get some more twin-whinging, then Sean saying he feels “pretty sad”. And Ms Voiceover saying there are no guarantees!

Then we get a montage! Ooh yeah it’s gonna take a montage! ;-)

Michelle and Shannan doing a lot of shouting at fatties that are caked in mud, exercising on the lawns of the mansion. I’m sure the owners of the mansion are going to love them for it, since the lawn is getting totally trashed!

“The holiday is over!” Go Michelle!

“Where do you think you’re goin’?” – Commando Steve. It’s a very tight shot on him only, so it’s impossible to tell if he’s addressing a group of fatties, fatties in shirts other than blue/red or even just single/duos.

Then we’re told the challenges have gotten even harder, showing a very steep sand dune which it looks like they’re going to have to climb down and then potentially back up? Perhaps many times? Looks like fun!

And then for the next really hard challenge… a maze? Hmm.

While the maze footage plays you can hear someone give a really pained scream. Not sure if that’s foreshadowing yet more horrifying injuries but I hope not.

One of the fatties says, over footage of a car leaving the compound and a huddle of fatties waving at it (from way off in the distance), “There’s the door, see you later!” Do we have another piker?

Some more footage of all the fatties at once, seems to be a couple of older gents in the group.

Then we’re treated to some footage of Commando Steve goading some fatties to climb that sand dune I mentioned earlier. And as I was writing this I noticed something – 7 of the fatties are in black, 7 are in what looks to be khaki. Perhaps Steve has “two teams” to himself and he’s going to put them through boot camp as he did for Chris and Kimberlie? And (further speculating) perhaps either black or khaki will get to come into the game, as Jillian’s black team did in the US season?

And then in a really rapid fire montage there’s a bunch of different things… Including a quick shot of what is obviously once of those motherfucking rocks from the motherfucking Walk. UGH. Fingers crossed it isn’t as retarded as last year’s and they’re more “nice rewards” or at least punishments everyone has to share. Instant eliminations are not going to be welcome this season.

There’s a lot of juicy informational goodness in that ad. And so long as the twists are kept under control, this is shaping up as a good season.