This is not a comprehensive review. It’s not even a review as such. I uninstalled the game after around 25 minutes playtime. This is just a bit of a rant on what I observed in my short play time. Maybe it doesn’t match your experience, maybe the game breaks away and gets better, I didn’t care enough to find out. I took a punt and bought it for $10 and it was still a disappointing experience.

You start the game in a helicopter, flying to who knows where in the middle of the night. As you’re about to rappel out of the chopper it gets shot down and just before your face hits the ground the game fades to black and takes things back to… six months prior to the chopper. Do I die in six months? Is that actually someone else entirely? Not Epic Beard Guy from the trailers, surely he can’t be dead? Anyway…

Now you’re watching the Earth from way up high! Oooh, pretty lights. And there goes a plane. And the camera moves down further and eventually you see a Predator drone, which you then see through the camera of as it tracks two trucks along a road in some desolate looking country. Do I get to blow up a truck with a Predator drone? Already?

No, now I get to sit in one of those trucks, driving through the night. And my viewpoint is locked in place so I have to look wherever the game tells me to look. Well, okay, it’s a bit dark but I can admire the scenery for a bit. It’s not like I loaded this to actually play or anything.

There’s chatter about Tariq. Tariq’s our target. We’ve got to go get Tariq. Some informants told us Tariq is here. These dudes at the roadblock are Tariq’s men and they sold him out. So let’s go kill Tariq! Tier 1, woooo!

No, wait, first we have more driving to do. Though now it’s through streets of some vaguely Middle Eastern looking and run down town. And I still can’t look at whatever I want…

This on-rails feeling is something I should have gotten used to as when our trucks are inevitably ambushed and I am finally allowed out of the straitjacket of the “cinematic” intro… It’s still very much on-rails as you move down corridors from one set piece to the next.

Fight off the initial attackers. Move up. Fight off some more attackers. Move up. Toss a grenade. Move up. Vault over a convenient barricade. Keep moving.

Get to a 6-7 foot wall my companion climbs up with ease, wait around below till I can hit F to have companion lift me up.

I’m not a Tier 1 operator but I can sure as hell clamber up and over a six foot wall.

Anyway. Move up. Shoot some more dudes. Move up. Shoot some more dudes. Move up. Get helped up another wall. Cover the other two dudes. Move up. Cover the other two dudes while they move up.

Then we finally find the door behind which Tariq is waiting for us. Fuck yeah, lets bust this door down and smoke this guy!

Hey… Tariq? Buddy? You’re not looking so good. Tied up to a chair with some bullet holes and whatnot. How are we going to rescue you now…

Yeah, that’s right. We’re supposed to be rescuing him. Not killing him. Good to know, thanks for that.

Also, it’s not actually Tariq. It’s some other poor sap. Who looks like he might be dead, though it’s hard to say.

His body/corpse is rigged with an explosive though, so if he wasn’t dead before he’s very dead after we kick him off the balcony to avoid the explosion.

So, no Tariq? Time for more moving up, shooting bad guys, moving up, shooting bad guys, flanking the heavy MG, shooting bad guys, move up?

Bet your sweet ass it is!

Bugger it. I’ve no idea why we’re doing what we’re doing and I don’t care. I didn’t even feel bad when I accidentally shot that “Mother” guy in the back because he’s just some bland military guy being tough and efficient and… military-y.

Also, at one point, it told me to right-click to use “iron sights”. My M4 came equipped with a red dot sight…

And if you think that was boring to read, well, it was even more boring to play. Thus it has been uninstalled in record time!

(I just said on Twitter that I wasn’t going to do this… but consistency is for custards and creams and such. So I did.)